Pizza Face

Bryan and I just figured out we were on the same acne medication in high school. This means one of two things:

1) our kids are doomed.
2) we are soul mates.

No Pain, No Gain

The other day at the gym I wandered over to the weight machines. This isn't normal territory for me, but I thought "why not?" As I'm doing some arm machine that's supposed to make me look like a male body builder (ten lbs at a time people), an old man trainer is standing to the side talking to a gym member.

"You'd be surprised -- I'd say that no one knows what they are doing on these machines. You wouldn't believe what some people do."

I'm listening to this guy go on and on. And as I look up from my cell phone, he locks eyes with me. And he does not let them go.

What? There is no law against texting and weight lifting. I rest my case.

Now I Know

Apparently saying "I want to eat your baby" is not appropriate when complimenting one's newborn child.

Well, now I know. How am I supposed to learn if I don't make a few mistakes right?

Also, I'm free for babysitting, if anyone is interested.