Bad Music Monday

...because Monday's aren't bad enough.

This week's BMM video is brought to us by Garth Brooks and 1994. Take it away Garth.

Garth brooks - the red strokes
What's better than green paint coming out from your pants and onto your bare feet?
Absolutely nothing.

dreams, pt. 2

Speaking of dreams, I had a very vivid dream last night that I was offered the chance to become a Dallas Mavericks dancer by way of an optometrist office visit. They saw that I had good vision and I was offered the job.

It's true -- I do have 20/20 vision.

a dream come true

In our first year of marriage, when I would ask Bryan what he dreamed about this is what he would say:

 

"I had this really weird dream about this guy that was chasing me and we were on this boat. Oh and I think you were there, too..."

 

In our second year of marriage, when I would ask Bryan what he dreamed about this is what he would say:

 

"Well it was you and me and there was this guy chasing us on a cruise ship...."

 

In our third year of marriage, when I ask Bryan what he dreamed about, this is what he says:

 

"You and me."

 

There that's better.

Why I'm Glad I'm Not Pregnant #268

Because when I say I'm having "a water break" at work, no one calls the hospital, the simply show me the way to the water fountain.

"I feel like my whole life has been one 'Oh no she didn't' moment after the next."

-- my sister.

 

To all the girls out there who know what it feels like to wear loafers with colored tube socks, long shorts and a ralph lauren polo shirt specifically during the years 1996-1999, my sister sends her love.

selective hearing

I've noticed that the longer I've been married, the more I lose my hearing. For example during a fight my husband told me that we "needed to stop it." (obviously speaking to my heavy drug habit) and I heard "we need to adopt." As you can imagine, our fight went down a different road and since then, we've decided to adopt.
 
My friend Amy has been married for 10 years. The other day her husband said "my allergies are going crazy." She heard "my ARMS are going crazy." I'm not 100% sure but I'm pretty sure that she tackled his arms and pinned them down so they'd stop flailing. And then he sneezed on her face.
 
Of course it could be the ear plugs I keep in my ears at all times. But for now, I blame marriage.

things they don't tell you when you get married #475

Waking your husband up gently is harder than it sounds. Throwing shoes at his head is apparently an unacceptable substitution for an alarm clock.