Tuesday's are the new Monday's.

This is what I felt like by the end of the day today.

And let me tell you, that is not a "good day" face.

You know you live in a small town...

when you find road kill at the end of your street in the morning.

 

I have a feeling our neighbors will be having a barbecue tonight.

Wild, Unattached Twenties Spent At Work

my thoughts, precisely.

Happy Father's Day

(Yes, I’m a little late.)

Five things I learned from my father:

1. The quieter you are the more people listen when you speak.
2. Coffee is a food group. Its right behind barbeque, pancakes and bread pudding on the food pyramid.
3. Library cards > credit cards
4. If we both lean in for a kiss on the cheek, we will bump heads.
5. On a bad day, there may not be a better place in the world than being right by your dad’s side.

Oh and dad? You were right -- all of my bad habits I learned from my mother.

Happy father’s day. Love,

Your youngest

apparently, i'm forgettable

As you may or may not know, Bryan works at a Christian retreat center and on the weekends we pack up and head out there to rub elbows with the once-young. (in other words with people over the age of death.) There are usually anywhere from 40-75 people each weekend that I have never met, so every weekend I am a new person. Sometimes I like to tell people that I work for NASA, I'm a lounge singer, or I'm a circus clown and luckily this is my off-season. Of course my name never translates correctly through old ears or hearing aids. I'm usually Kitty (the lounge singer), Candy (the Circus Clown) or Tony (NASA).  And the best part of this gig? No one ever remembers me – at least not until we've meet about 5 times before. I'm pretty sure I introduce myself 3.5 times before someone's brain recognizes that they know me from somewhere. And when I see that little light of familiarity flicker, that's when I tell them the truth. I'm Cindy and I work at a jewelry retailer in the factory, 3 days a week and I'm only 16. Or at least that's what they remember.

yo husband is so fat...

my husband put all of his birthday money into our savings account. booya.

 

my husband: 1, everyone else's husbands: 0

Attention Ladies:

Do not let your husband, boyfriend, significant other watch the movie "Into The Wild". Although a great, inspiring movie about a young college graduate who leaves everything he has to hitchhike up to Alaska to live by himself in the wilderness, it is not worth it. Your man will want to also move to Alaska with nothing but a sleeping bag and a knit hat. Bryan looked at me half way through the movie and with glazed-over dreamy eyes said "Wouldn't that be great? Just living in a van, not worrying about money, having everything you need right there." I ignored him and let that one go. Later on, as the main character has lost an inhumane amount of weight and is surviving on rodents and berries, he says "Wouldn't that be so freeing? Just living in nature, finding your own food, surviving on the land." At this point, I put down my chocolate milk shake and magazine and look at him like he must be crazy and as I'm preparing to give the eye roll of the century, he adds this: "But I wouldn't want to go alone. I would want you to go with me."  Oh puling out the romantic card, are we? And somehow "Yeah, that'd be great. I'd go anywhere with you." came out of my mouth.

 

So it looks like we'll be selling everything of worth, packing up what's left and we are gonna go live in a van in Alaska. yayyyy.

 

By the way, the guy dies at the end of starvation. so i guess this will be my last post...

Dear co-worker who is in a much higher, authoratative position than me,

Please stop blaring Natalie Merchant. It's causing all sorts of bad memories from 6th grade to surface.

 

And for your consideration I want to thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you....

 

k

Happy 25th

To the love of my life, the cream in my coffee. I'm glad I get another year of loving you.   

 

 

I love you because...

1. of the way your eyes dance around when you tell a story.
2. your face immediately softens at the first sign of a tear.
3. you never let me go to sleep without saying goodnight.
4. you love my ideas – the good, the bad, and the outright ridiculous.
5. you dream big with me.
6. I know you'll make a good dad one day. (lucky kids)
7. you fit me perfectly.
8. of the way your eyes crinkle when you smile. (And I will love each and every one of those crinkles when they turn into wrinkles one day.)
9. you assure me every night that the doors are all locked (even if they aren't)
10. I'm the one that gets to be with you.
11. of the way that you proudly introduce me as "your wife" to anyone we meet.
12. I've never had to ask you to do the dishes.
13. of the way you say "I love you" first thing in the morning, like you've been holding it in all night.
14. you have single-handedly put together every piece of furniture in our house. (thank you)
15. you let me squeeze the life out of your hand anytime an airplane takes off or lands (and any time in between).
16. you cried at our wedding.
17. you are the hands-down, the #1 best traveling partner in the world, ever.
18. You taught me to respect wine.
19. You tell stories like John Wayne made movies.
20. Halfway through our fights, you always smile. It's your little white flag of surrender.
21. all of my favorite memories include you.
22. I've never laughed so hard than with you.
23. if we had 3 little boys, exactly like you, I would be proud.
24. you were born today, just for me.
25. you are my greatest adventure.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMA!!!

I couldn't have asked for a better mom. :)

dear co-workers,

please forgive me for leaving a scent trail of cornflakes behind when i leave a room. it is my fake tanner and it will get worse throughout the day, as will my "tan". please do not judge me by my orange-ish appearance, I have not been eating a lot of carrots and sweet potatoes, I have simply been overloading on self tanning products. (it's okay to mix these right?) honestly, i don't even recognize my hands anymore and all of my freckles have now faded into the rest of my skin's new color. but i can't stop. I have a wedding and birthday party this weekend and i refuse to be white. in fact i am probably the farthest tone from white right now, it's more of a spotty, burnt orange and i will take it.

 

(someone just asked if i was a burn victim. i knew i shouldn't have used the body lotion on my face.)

 

also, it's my last day of work this week. so nanny-nany boo-boo.

 

k

 

our new favorite show

It's on TLC. So cute.

Chocolate-covered Workouts

I did that Wii Active the other night. It was fun but I almost choked while doing some of the exercises. I’m not going to lie it’s kind of dangerous.

On the other hand, I don’t think you are supposed to do it with a mouthful of chocolate covered pretzels in your mouth. But the directions didn’t say anything about that, so I’m not 100% sure.

FOUND

Can whoever left their black lacy panties in our backyard please come by tomorrow between the times of 1-3 pm to collect them? They will be in a airtight container on our front porch. Beware -- they have been chewed. (of course, you may have already known that)

i am an American.

on sunday morning, we woke up and I put on my white tank top, faded blue jeans and flip-flops, went to wal-mart, cashed in our lottery ticket winnings, grabbed breakfast at the great food institution of McDonalds and then loaded up and headed out to fiesta texas theme park -- the land of turkey legs, roller coasters, $15 colas and a water park. we then we finished off the day with barbeque and pepsi. now if that doesn't say America the beautiful, i don't know what does. (you're right -- we needed fireworks, a barefoot baby and a keg. maybe next weekend?)

side note -- theme parks do not make me feel young again. in fact, i feel old -- very, very old. today my body feels like i painted a 3-story house while drinking beer all day in the heat and then I went into a boxing ring with a cage fighter, while still sipping on a hot beer.

side note II -- things i found at fiesta texas:
1. nail clippers
2. a used band-aid floating in the wave pool
3. unabashedly uncovered love handles
4. a toddler snacking on a turkey leg, that oddly enough was the size of his own leg
(please note -- I did not physically take these items. they are merely images burned in my head)

happy mondays,

k