I just got my haircut at a salon/boutique/vetrinary clinic.
Welcome to Kerrville, ya'll.
Showing posts with label kerrville. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kerrville. Show all posts
January 17, 2009
January 16, 2009
kids
People keep calling Bryan and I "kids." I keep calling them "old." Which, of course, does not help the situation but makes me feel that much better. I guess we should stop hanging out at the medical supply store and Luby's. I guess we are just asking for it really. But seriously, are there any young people within a 15 mile radius of us? I'm getting desperate here. The next young-ish person I find I will be their best friend. No questions asked. I have no standards at this point. I just want someone who knows who Lauren Conrad is and doesn't find YouTube fascinating. Is that too much to ask for??
If we get called kids one more time, we are both growing mustaches
If we get called kids one more time, we are both growing mustaches
January 15, 2009
How to Tell a Co-Worker "You're Talking Much Too Close to My Face"
Dearest Close-Talking Co-Worker,
I don't know what I did to deserve your hot breath in my small face, but I regret it. I am not sure if I need to draw a ruler on my hand and hold it out 6 inches to serve as a reminder that anything less is much too close. I don't know if I should wear a face mask like dentists wear in order to keep from vomiting at the end of every conversation we have. Please tell me what to do. It's not that I don't like you, in fact I never know what you are saying because your breath spells out G-R-O-S-S and that's all I can see or hear until you close your mouth and stop the violation.
Tell me, co-worker, what does your family do when you come around at holidays? Do they wear garlic around their necks because that smells better than what did in your throat? Do they start cooking onions, bell peppers, and fish when you arrive to curb your breath's effect on the air? I'm going to need their contact info if our work-only relationship lasts much longer.
Look, we could be friends, best friends, if only you would stop talking into my face. And you keep your mouth closed. Just think about it.
xoxo,
K
I don't know what I did to deserve your hot breath in my small face, but I regret it. I am not sure if I need to draw a ruler on my hand and hold it out 6 inches to serve as a reminder that anything less is much too close. I don't know if I should wear a face mask like dentists wear in order to keep from vomiting at the end of every conversation we have. Please tell me what to do. It's not that I don't like you, in fact I never know what you are saying because your breath spells out G-R-O-S-S and that's all I can see or hear until you close your mouth and stop the violation.
Tell me, co-worker, what does your family do when you come around at holidays? Do they wear garlic around their necks because that smells better than what did in your throat? Do they start cooking onions, bell peppers, and fish when you arrive to curb your breath's effect on the air? I'm going to need their contact info if our work-only relationship lasts much longer.
Look, we could be friends, best friends, if only you would stop talking into my face. And you keep your mouth closed. Just think about it.
xoxo,
K
December 15, 2008
A Case of the Monday's
A couple of loose thoughtlings from today:
1. Why does panty hose come in un-human colors? I kept looking down all day and dialing 911 because I thought I had finally developed diabetes and my feet had died and needed to be amputated. But no, I was just wearing panty hose in the color "Putrid". I swear someone whispered "Jaundice" when I walked by today. Of course, I had also accidentally marked all on my face with a yellow highlighter, so maybe they were referring to that.
2. What's with wrapping presents? I'm so over that business. I mean it's December 15th and none of my gifts are wrapped and you know what I think? So freaking what. It's such a waste of money and valuable facebook time. I think I'm going to start wrapping my gifts in something useful, like an old blanket or paper towels. Or better yet, t-shirts. You still get the unvieling affect when you take the shirt off the present. When my family looks at my oddly, I'll just say I'm going green.
3. Nevermind.
4. Kerrville does not like my rust colored pants today. But they do like my teal windbreaker and dallas cowboys cut-off jersey.
5. And lastly, this is what my hair looks like in the morning:
Apparently my dreams are explosive. When I looked in the mirror, I checked my pillow for blood; I was for sure my brain had seeped out during the night. But alas no hole, no blood. Just a need for a long shower and a lot of detangler.
1. Why does panty hose come in un-human colors? I kept looking down all day and dialing 911 because I thought I had finally developed diabetes and my feet had died and needed to be amputated. But no, I was just wearing panty hose in the color "Putrid". I swear someone whispered "Jaundice" when I walked by today. Of course, I had also accidentally marked all on my face with a yellow highlighter, so maybe they were referring to that.
2. What's with wrapping presents? I'm so over that business. I mean it's December 15th and none of my gifts are wrapped and you know what I think? So freaking what. It's such a waste of money and valuable facebook time. I think I'm going to start wrapping my gifts in something useful, like an old blanket or paper towels. Or better yet, t-shirts. You still get the unvieling affect when you take the shirt off the present. When my family looks at my oddly, I'll just say I'm going green.
3. Nevermind.
4. Kerrville does not like my rust colored pants today. But they do like my teal windbreaker and dallas cowboys cut-off jersey.
5. And lastly, this is what my hair looks like in the morning:
Apparently my dreams are explosive. When I looked in the mirror, I checked my pillow for blood; I was for sure my brain had seeped out during the night. But alas no hole, no blood. Just a need for a long shower and a lot of detangler.
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