Everyone's a critic...

We saw Revolutionary Road tonight. It was a good movie.*

*Unless you are: sad, depressed, thinking about being sad or depressed, pregnant, not pregnant, was once pregnant but not now, have kids, thought about having kids, thought about getting married, are married, married once and divorced, married twice and divorced, never married but want to get married, believe marraige is an insitution, believe marraige is more than a big wedding, lived in the 50s, love movies from the 50s, live in a house built in the 50s, have a white picket fence, want a white picket fence, believe in love, hope, devotion, loyalty, and the magic that is the 1997 smash hit "Titanic", this is not your movie.

Just to be safe, pop an anti-depressant and go see Bride Wars.

Be careful what you wish for, Mother of 6

http://www.startribune.com/nation/38733202.html?elr=KArks:DCiUMEaPc:UiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUU

Too much of a good thing = 14 kids. someone get her a 15-passenger van STAT!

"I googled."

My dad said that he googled my name the other day.

You know when someone tells a joke in a small group and you think it's funny but you're not sure how everyone else is going to react, so you wait until they laugh or not laugh? Well I didn't know if this was a joke or this was serious. I wasn't sure if this was a creative segue into "I didn't know I was paying tution for you to end up on the internet looking like a ..." or "I found nothing."

Turns out my name query just returned a couple of press releases, an old flickr site, and my blog. Whew.

Sad day in the Skeen household....

Call me vapid and shallow, but my favorite magazine in the whole wide world, Domino, just got canned. Annnnd I just got a subscription for Christmas. All together now: THAT SUCKS.

Look, I'm all about hope and optimism and change, yada yada. But when my favorite magazine suffers, that is just not okay. I hope magazines are included in the bazillion dollar stimulus plan or it's going to be a lonely next 4 years.

Other news...
It's no secret, Bryan and I are training for a 1/2 marathon. At this point my body is saying "Why are you drinking water?? Where's the Dr. Pepper!?!? Why are my legs moving so fast???" But thus far we've survived, 1 mile down 12.1 to go...

Some old lady this weekend made milk shake punch. you read me right. milk +shake+punch = not okay. Which only proves my point that the older you get the more crazy you get and you lose your tastebuds. I showed her up though. I made my famous strawberry-banana stew.

I told approximately 130 jokes today at work. I think I got 3 laughs. My ROI on the humor scale is going down...I may have to fire my script writers.

Let's hope we remember to take the trash out tomorrow for pick up. It's been 3 weeks. All together now: THAT SUCKS.

skeen out.

What year is this again??

I don't think that my computer knows it's 2009....

I just typed in Obama and it wanted to change it to Osama.

I think it's time to get a Mac.

Case of the Mondays

I have managed to unknowingly make fun of someone's mentally challenged nephew and ask someone with dentures if she had a tooth ache.

it's not even noon, and I can already tell this is not going to be a good day.

Breaking News..

Bratz Dolls May Give Young Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size

Gilley...

I fear this is what our child will turn out like. No Worries, Operation Birth Control is in full force.

Taco Smell

We drove by Taco Bell the other day. I think they had to fire their head chef because of the failing economy. The newest menu item? A Bacon and Cheese Gordita. And it comes in a plastic wrapper that you can barf in after you realize you just accidentally order the nastiest food item in America.

Curl Up & Dye

I just got my haircut at a salon/boutique/vetrinary clinic.

Welcome to Kerrville, ya'll.

kids

People keep calling Bryan and I "kids." I keep calling them "old." Which, of course, does not help the situation but makes me feel that much better. I guess we should stop hanging out at the medical supply store and Luby's. I guess we are just asking for it really. But seriously, are there any young people within a 15 mile radius of us? I'm getting desperate here. The next young-ish person I find I will be their best friend. No questions asked. I have no standards at this point. I just want someone who knows who Lauren Conrad is and doesn't find YouTube fascinating. Is that too much to ask for??

If we get called kids one more time, we are both growing mustaches

How to Tell a Co-Worker "You're Talking Much Too Close to My Face"

Dearest Close-Talking Co-Worker,

I don't know what I did to deserve your hot breath in my small face, but I regret it. I am not sure if I need to draw a ruler on my hand and hold it out 6 inches to serve as a reminder that anything less is much too close. I don't know if I should wear a face mask like dentists wear in order to keep from vomiting at the end of every conversation we have. Please tell me what to do. It's not that I don't like you, in fact I never know what you are saying because your breath spells out G-R-O-S-S and that's all I can see or hear until you close your mouth and stop the violation.

Tell me, co-worker, what does your family do when you come around at holidays? Do they wear garlic around their necks because that smells better than what did in your throat? Do they start cooking onions, bell peppers, and fish when you arrive to curb your breath's effect on the air? I'm going to need their contact info if our work-only relationship lasts much longer.

Look, we could be friends, best friends, if only you would stop talking into my face. And you keep your mouth closed. Just think about it.

xoxo,
K

How to Tell a Co-Worker You Don't Care What Her Daugher Did Last Night

Dear Co-Worker/ Single Mom of 1,

I. Don't. Care.

Sincerely,

Kendi

It's-a Never Too Early For-a Spaghetti!

My office always smells like spaghetti. No matter what time of day. It always smells like someone has just warmed up left over Fazoli's. I go to my desk hoping to find a breadstick in my chair. Alas, no breadsticks, no italian sausage, no spaghetti. I just can't figure out who's popping open the Spaghetti-O's at 8:00 am. But I've got it drilled down to a couple of culprits:

1. Mario
2. Luigi
3. Chef Boyardee

I'm thinking it's the latter choice.

So Chef Boyardee, stop with the italian food so early in the morning. It's not a good way to make friends.

Well we've been married for 365 days now and that officially makes us a) awesome and b) professional marriage counselors. So seriously, if you have any questions, we can help you. For a price, that is, we are professionals now.

Super Dog!

Carlos is magic. He ate a whole snickers and a twix bar and he is still alive. (Re: Carlos is our dog. Not a neighbor friend, relative or child.) No weird poop, not vomiting, no death. He's magic.

Now if only we could get him to clean the dishes off the table after he makes us dinner every night. That would really be something to rave about.

Best Pictures from Christmas 2008

Hands down the cutest kid in the family. Or should I say guns down. Ol' Robin Hood's not too bad looking either.