The office kitchen has been stocked full of apples, diet soda and ham lately. This always means someone is on a diet. Sure, ham might be a strange choice for a diet but as a lady at my work explained to me, when you are on a diet--ham is your best friend. What you have to watch out for are "the carbs" They. Are. Everywhere. -- except for meat. (naturally) She says to me:
"Yeah, I'm on this low-carb diet. I just eat a salad and I load on tons of ham -- I just pile it on."
"Oh my." I say as I shuddered to think which little piggy ended up on her morning salad.
"Did you know that there are no carbs in ham?? In fact, there are no carbs in any meat! None!"
At this point, I restrain myself from saying "except for the fine delicacy of meatloaf" solely because I didn't want to confuse her any more. So I say "Really? Are you sure?"
"Oh yeah. You should look it up sometime, I looked all of this up on the world wide intra-web."
so for my dear friend, the co-worker i've made a list of other items that do not have carbs.
1. a solid wood desk
2. boats
3. tennis shoes or leather boots
4. animal bones
5. rubber tires
6. nail polish remover
7. any type of metal
8. floppy disks
9. swords
10. common sense
good luck with all of your future dieting endeavors.
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