Open Letter to a Target Dressing Room

Bitterness comes in many forms. Today it was in the shape of my body. So here is an open letter to the Target mirror, who has ruined my life: ( you know who you are, mirror.)

Dear 45-degree angle mirror that was unfortunately installed at every Target across the southern U.S. region,
I knew you for 10 seconds and you showed me the world. And by world, I mean that odd angle of my back, ass and thighs. I stand here today to thank you for that. Partially because it caused me not to purchase anything and now I have a savings account. And partially because what I know now may have burned a harsh image in my mind, but it will remind me forever to be aware of who is standing at what degree around me. You showed me that, no I'm not attractive from all sides, as my friend Self Esteem told me for years. You showed me that weird fat pocket where my arms connect to my back that I've never seen before--not even on "The Biggest Loser" or Kirstie Alley in those before and after diet commercials.

Thank you Target for once again reminding me that yes indeed, I do look better with all of my clothes, shoes, make up and accessories on. Target, you have not not only mastered the poor fit, but also developed a new type of dressing room that has not one but two mirrors. This way, not only can I see my ill fitted t-shirt from the front, but now i can see it at a 45 degree angle from behind. Up until a week ago, I'd never seen myself from such an angle. And with God on my side, I pray that I never have to again. I now know to not ever let anyone stand at that angle, in direct or florescent light, with at least one working eye look at me, half clothed, ever again. Before I was letting heaven knows who stare at my partially naked body from whatever angle they chose. But not now. It will be from the front, in dim lighting with a heavy cotton robe on, or nothing at all. Thank you Target for letting me in on this pressing matter. Global warming may be an issue for millions, but from my point of view global warming has now been trumped by my ass.

Oh Target Mirror, we sure did have some good times though. You made me laugh, when it looked like there was no way that I could possibly wear that size because I look 20 lbs heavier from where you were standing. You made me cry, when I think of all the people who have seen me in a bathing suit or shorts from behind. It's been a hard road to walk down, but I know that I can always look back at a 45 degree angle and know that you're still there--judging me and my body. I don't know why they pay you to do your job, but I'm glad they do. I will no longer try on clothes, I'll simply grab, buy and pray to God that all of my mirrors at home are broken and that I still wear the same size. You've shown me the good, the bad and the lumpy. I hope you break into a million pieces and burn in retail mirror hell.

Hearing the truth hurts, but seeing it is worse.