retraction

Bryan wanted me to tell everyone that the crude representation below of what we look like in the morning isn't true. This is actually what we look like in the morning, before hair and makeup of course. Please don't judge:

i had a dream...

Bryan and I have both been having dreams about Tina Fey. Mine was about Tina accosting us in a theatre and asking us to go to dinner with her and her husband. She then fell in love with us and wanted to write a show about us and we could play the leading roles. We told her that we didnt' want to leave our jobs in small town America and turned down the offer.

Bryan dreamt that he met Tina at a Long John Silver's and their were a lot of kids there. He said that Tina was a messy eater.

Need I remind you of what we look like in the morning?







Yeah, dreams are messy in our house.

Carlos is Magic II

Carlos has this pecuilar was of stepping on the remote--normally while we are in the middle of a show --and changing the channel. He can find buttons we didn't even know existed. Tonight? Carlos changed the channel to Telemundo. No lie.

We've got a talented dog on our hands. And apparently we were right in naming him Carlos. Viva la televisio!

If only...

...Bryan loved me like Spencer loves Heidi.

Now that's dedication.

Secrets

Bryan started telling me this story about "Aunt Flo" and I got really defensive, I said "how do you know about 'Aunt Flow'?" He said oh it's so-and-so's aunt...Aunt Florence. He went back to his story, I sighed a sigh of relief for women everywhere. Our secret menstrual code is still safe ladies.

I bet they still don't know what PMS really means.

travel

i'm flying to see my parents tomorrow and its been a while since I've flown. I got to thinking what am i allowed to pack nowadays??

i think we are on threat level orange, but does that mean i can take foundation and gum? what about a brush? are shoes still allowed?? So i logged on to TSA and took a looksy...

things i am absolutely not allowed to take on the airplane:

• ice picks
• meat cleaver
• sabers
• swords
• baseball bat
• bow and arrow
• pool cues
• ski pole
• spear gun

and of course I was planning on taking all of these. to make matters worse these were on the list as well:

• BB guns
• flares
• cattle prods
• crowbars
• billy clubs
• brass knuckles
• night sticks
• nunchucks
• throwing stars
• gas torches
• liquid bleach

So you can imagine my disappointment after I read this list. Not only was I going to prod cattle with my dad but my mom and I were going to a billy club and throwing star convention and I am not going to be able to carry any back with me on the plane.

Things I am allowed to take:

• one pair of shoes
• saltine crackers
• one sandwhich baggie of anything i can fit in there
• gameboy

Well that's a sigh of relief.

Finders Keepers

some lovely finds of the week. if only we didn't owe taxes this time around.

My dream kitchen. Ahh, the dream of a crisp, clean kitchen.

Pearls, pearls, pearls. My spring obsession.

five year diary. just a few lines a day.

great find on etsy. now if i could find some cash.

urban is stepping it up these days.


shameless plug, I know. But I still like this ring.

Death by Coffee

I had a pregnancy scare this morning. I got super nauseous after finishing my coffee. I was a little nervous but I decided to tell B.

B had a pregnancy scare too.

After his coffee.

So then I got to thinking...

I made our coffee just like normal...okay except I pulled our coffee pot out of the dishwasher that...might have been dirty BUT I threw some soap in it and washed it out. No prob, soap and kind of warm water kills everything right? So I thought. Until our coffee came bubbling over instead of boiling. JUST KIDDING! It didn't do that...no no. It tasted fine. Maybe even better than normal. So we drank it. And drank it we did.

And then we were posioned. Bryan's still in the hospital. He may not make it. They said they may have to take out his liver and stomach. He'll never be able to drink coffee--or eat again.

But hey, at least I'm not pregnant!!!

(Oh sure, don't act like you've never done that.)

HIT LIST

I'd like to send out a personal warning to anyone who bids on a certain skirt on eBay.

If you out bid me on this $10 skirt that I don't need, I WILL find you. And I WILL hunt you down and outbid you on everything that you ever bid on for the rest of your eBay life.*

DON'T. MESS. WITH. ME.

*even though i don't have the money to actually outbid you....just don't worry about the details. I"ll outbid you, even if it means bankruptcy and legal trouble. Leave my skirt alone.

you had my heart at paper shredder...

"I saw something at Office Max today and I wanted to buy it for you!" --b. skeen

Everyone's a critic...

We saw Revolutionary Road tonight. It was a good movie.*

*Unless you are: sad, depressed, thinking about being sad or depressed, pregnant, not pregnant, was once pregnant but not now, have kids, thought about having kids, thought about getting married, are married, married once and divorced, married twice and divorced, never married but want to get married, believe marraige is an insitution, believe marraige is more than a big wedding, lived in the 50s, love movies from the 50s, live in a house built in the 50s, have a white picket fence, want a white picket fence, believe in love, hope, devotion, loyalty, and the magic that is the 1997 smash hit "Titanic", this is not your movie.

Just to be safe, pop an anti-depressant and go see Bride Wars.

Be careful what you wish for, Mother of 6

http://www.startribune.com/nation/38733202.html?elr=KArks:DCiUMEaPc:UiD3aPc:_Yyc:aUU

Too much of a good thing = 14 kids. someone get her a 15-passenger van STAT!