sometimes late at night, we order pizza online and have it delivered so we don't have to get off of the couch to consume thousands of calories that we will then let melt into our bodies as we drift off to bed. this happens more than we will ever admit but tonight while ordering online i found something alarming. something i've never seen before.
I'm sorry -- an "unmeat"? Obviously this is the opposite of meats, but it seems so wrong. Like in elementary when you weren't quite sure what the correct word was so you made it up. That's what domino's has done. I bet "fruits and vegetables" was on the tip of their tongues when they were thinking of options for this site. It's like saying bikes are "uncars", a woman is an "unman" and being naked is "undressed" (okay, that one actually works). In fact, I'm thinking about becoming an "unmeatarian." I'm going to uncage myself from this prison of meats i've been living in. And to the pizza delivery guy I will unclose the door and greet him with an ungoodbye and let him know to tell Mr. Dominos himself that he has changed my life with this retarded little mistake.
p.s. is it normal to clean your living room for the first time in a week just for the pizza guy?
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